Thursday, July 29, 2010


I asked you once, "would you recall me, if ever by chance we'll meet each other in Heaven?" You said, "maybe..., yes maybe..." but still it was a hesitant answer. i told myself, i wanna know. if God would give me a reward in Heaven, i want it to be 'my memories of you.' But could i ask for a reward? oh, how i wish i could!
You said, man is prone to be infinite, i honestly cannot understand what you mean by that. We were talking about eternity, on how God placed eTeRniTy in the hearts of man. I was confused, i don't understand a thing! They said we have a longing to know what lies behind tomorrow. God placed that in our hearts but He didn't gave us the ability to understand the things that He made from the beginning up to the end. I was looking at you and you were telling something but i cannot comprehend your words. I just wanted to know if you will recall me if ever we'll meet in Heaven.
Then, i prayed that God might open my heart. And one more time, i looked at you. You seemed happy with your thoughts. But still i'm not yet contented. I asked myself, "how would it feel to love you in eternity?" But love is not a feeling, so i might not feel. Feelings sometimes hinder the truths. And i want to break through it.
I asked God again, can a woman love a man beyond time and space? Would HE let someone's memory last forever? Oh, but then you said, man is prone to be infinite. When i asked you, if you would recall me in Heaven, i wanted you to say NO, but you didn't. Because if ever you did, i could have told you, "i wish your love is infinite." And that's what eternity means to me.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Unconditional Love

I know some of you doesn't believe in unconditional love. I am not at liberty to judge one's opinion. I do not wish to convince you either if you should believe or not. I will also not tell you if it is true or not. I would just like to tell you my dream tonight and at the end it will still be you who will decide what is right.

'There is no greater love than this, than a man will give his life for a friend".

I met this guy not long ago and upon meeting my eyes with his I knew he was the one. I heard the wind whispered, 'It is him'. A sudden chill run into my veins and the cold wind engulfed me. I have been waiting for that day to come and I didn't even realize I received a gift from God the very minute I laid my eyes on him- that is the gift to love. I didn't even think it would be possible to love someone which you knew nothing about. Is that the seed which was given by God, that you need to plant in your heart which needs to grow?

The seed will grow though you don't want it to. It is the love's nature- to grow in abundance. The more you stop it the more it keeps on getting stronger because it is God who waters the seed through the rains and it is Him who makes it grow to a plant.

If you give a gift to someone, will you plan to take it away from that person? I don't think so. When God told the man and woman to love each other it is a command. But the feelings you feel for the other person, I think that is the gift. That is the reason why we take pleasure in doing the command..we love in joy. What a pity to throw away your gift just because you have not received something in return.

If everyone will love someone because they want something in return, how pity for mankind to be loved by God just because He needs something in return from us! If God loves us unconditionally, would He like us to love our partners with conditions? Did God told the man to love his woman so that he can expect something from her? Did God said that man cannot love the way He loves us? Yes, we are not God but didn't He asked us to be like Him?

My question to myself is, 'Should I give an unconditional love?'

With that I have to decide, should I want or should I not. If I should do it, then can it be true. If I can not do it, does it mean that it is no longer true?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

yesterday, my nightmare

My yesterday dropped by today and I have to say "Hi" to her. "Good morning Miss, how are you doing", she asked me. In my mind I would just like to ignore her because somehow I felt the old pain again. Never mind, I have to face her in that way I can send her away peacefully.

Yesterday, I know what you are thinking because you are my friend. But friends always come and go until they will just forget. So now, I do not know you but that is not a problem. You know it is better not to meet again, in that way we cannot hurt each other. I think I'll just remember the good things we had together so we can humbly say it is all over.

Nightmares do come and go, but my yesterday you will always be a part of me that I need to let go. Today I need to face my present because it is a gift from God. Let me rest from the memories of our old dark past.