Tuesday, August 3, 2010

February Plaints II

 was praying hard as the sun goes down. i was thinking of you, but i know you are thinking of her.no words, no voices, only the silence speaks. everything seems uncertain, vague, we were both asking, "is this God's will?" only the space remains concrete.

then God let you remember her voice. but why did He sounded it inside your head? now you said, you wanted to see her. so i was wondering, i was praying hard, i was confused, i was in fiery jealousy...

then one day, you came to me saying, "i was looking for her in my dreams, but how come i didn't see her?" now, i tried to comfort you, but the words didn't came out right. i don't want you to come. i don't want to tell you that she's gone.

but your words are too powerful, i can't stop them. it was too painful to bear. in those words was your hidden anger. she's gone, but no, not her memories. the wind is singing her song. how come i coud feel her breathing? oh, is it her voice or just the song of the wind? i didn't know everything that she said to the wind..but the wind, the wind...i can hear it blowing.."i want to see him,i want to see him.."

so i was terrified, her memories are touching me, disturbing my night's serenity. crawling beneath my veins, lingering in my dreams. oh, profound misery, you must know that she died missing you. but no words, no voices, only the silence speaks. everything seems uncertain, vague and we were both asking, "is this God's will?"

then SILENCE told me, "everything would be over, like a night is not forever." then, i pleaded to the Silence, "please, don't tell her!" but He said, "love is made not to keep hidden" oh, silence had already talked to her!

once more, i saw you in my dream, you told me she's gone. you are in deep pain, your eyes are filled with tears. i was caught in anguish, oh, i was in fiery jealousy!!would i tell you? would i ask you? i can't...i just can't...so i was asking the silence what would i do, He said, "let him rest.."

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